Real thoughts from a real man

A brother wrote this to me this week and gave me permission to post using the Chatham House Rule. As I read it again I thought, "Real thoughts from a real man. This guy is working out his salvation with Godly fear and trepidation. A good thing." Please read and be strengthened:

"This past week has been hard, as thoughts I’ve struggled and wrestled with over the past few weeks came to a head. I’ve found myself angry and bitter, but here’s where I’m at today. I’m tired of thinking about myself much of the time, I’m tired of other believers thinking about themselves much of the time.

So much of my energy is spent on the routine and the mundane tasks, many of these things need to get done, but they become a distraction from the main thing, HIM! The way of self is not the Way! Many families, lives, and churches are destroyed because of self.

I am finally getting bored with myself and want only His life to consume me, work through me, becoming a vessel for the Kingdom.

I am finding, that for the first time in a long time, I want to spend as much time with nonbelievers as believers. This should be ridiculously obvious all the time, yet I’ve not engaged often enough. However, I am finding that God is very much at work in the routine, mundane, and simple tasks of life. There is opportunity everywhere, in almost every situation because He is in everything.

Like a screw being tightened into wood that is not pre drilled, I pray that the Father is driving me deeper into Him even though I may crack, pop, and split from time to time."