Hard to believe

I often find that it is hard to believe and that my faith seems to get smaller over time. When it does, I get messy and I sin more. And what is worse; I am not naturally drawn to repentance. The simple fact is I am not believing the gospel and I do not even know it.

I need to be reminded, for someone to say, "You are not believing and you are living like an orphan, not as a child of God." It is then that I can repent, or turn from my sin and turn to Christ and say, "I am sorry, I do believe, help my unbelief"

So on one hand I find myself at a loss to help myself and on the other hand I know that I can set up a system that will make the alarm ring when the fire goes out. It is has to do with accountability, communication, transparency and giving another the right to ask tough questions and probe past pat answers. I need someone helping me AND I need to pray that the Holy Spirit would be attentive to me and "wake me up" when I fall into the sleep of unbelief. Then I can worship well; through His kindness that leads to repentance as I regain my faith.