I just had a radio interview with Steve Brown. I love that guy. He will be at Perimeter this weekend. I think this week, you will be able to hear the interview on Steve Brown Etc. BTW, you should listen to Steve all the time.
The French say it well, “Vive la difference!” Men and women are different, even though they are both created in the image of God. Because of the difference, I often find in working with couples that the husband or wife struggles to communicate in a language that their spouse can understand. Hundreds of books have been written on the topic. Men are from planet X and women are from planet Y. Pink and blue. Love and Respect. There must be something to it, would you agree?
I think we may go down the wrong track if we say that God deals with women differently than He does with men. Both are sinners in need of a savior. Both need to know love and forgiveness. There is not a bible for women and a separate bible for men. Jesus came for both, but He created them male and female and we do well to remember that He is wise in all things. There are a lot of good things about “la difference” but there are also a lot of challenging things. How we communicate is a primary one.
This week we thought we might help you learn by example. I met with a couple in which the man was rightly talking about commitment, duty, loyalty, and debriefing after a military operation as a way to describe how he thought a marriage and family should work. He spoke of wielding the sword of the Word as William Wallace did in Braveheart. He spoke of being a son of the king. All good word pictures and the Bible supports them. As he spoke, I noted that his wife was not as enthusiastic about being deployed, debriefed and fulfilling duty as he was. Wielding scripture verses like a broad sword did not connect for her.
In his mind, those images conjured up the call to go back to the manual to remember the rules for holy living as found in Colossians and other places. “Love your neighbor, die to self and serve others for the King!” were themes that he could connect with as found in scripture. For the wife, they drew a blank. Not to say she does not believe in duty, service and the King. The language did not connect to her soul.
What could I do to help this couple? Sing!
I mentioned The Sound of Music. What? Yes, the Sound of Music with Julie Andrews. “When the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I’m feeling sad.” Most of you ladies can sing the next line, “I simply remember my favorite things and then I don’t feel so bad!” There is no sword there; just fond memories of favorite things. That word picture is just as valid as William Wallace in a kilt. That language connected for the wife. So where might those favorite things be found for the woman in Christ? The bible. A woman’s truly favorite things, when hard things are happening or action needs to occur, can be remembered in the story of Christ and Him crucified. They are recalled in the verses that speak of loving your neighbor and sacrificing for your children. They are brought home in the texts that speak of a woman being a handmaid to her Lord and in the passages that remind a woman she is a daughter of the king. Those are the same types of verses as for the man, we just took a different route to get to them.
Now I know that some women love Braveheart and some guys Sound of Music. The important thing to note is God is revealed and He uses revelation to point us to Him. Our role, as we communicate, is to help people connect what they connect to in an intimate way, to God.
Worship Well
Unbelievably, it is one of the most watched shows on TV. It is called Dancing With The Stars. Celebrities, some of them B list, join together with professional dancers and learn how to cha cha, rumba, waltz and tango amongst other things. Each week judges judge, the audience votes and someone is kicked off the show. It is a familiar theme on American television these days. It seems that someone is getting kicked off of some metaphorical island each week. The exception being LOST where people want to get off the island and can’t seem to make it happen no matter how much they blow things up, how many boats they get in or how many airplanes they have.
On Dancing With The Stars, each couple desperately tries for a perfect score of 30 as three judges can give a maximum score of 10 each. To date, this season no one has achieved that mark and frankly most have been a C+ or B- at best, in my opinion. Of course, that does not mean much, I only took Beginner Ballroom and half of Ballroom II.
So why do they do it, and what do they want? They want glory. Everyone wants to be judged well and to receive acclaim for what they have done. Some are willing to work hard. Some are willing to cut corners. Some are will do anything to be viewed highly and to get some glory. The bottom line is that all of us want to be known and loved.
The trophy in Dancing With The Stars is a cheap mirror ball. That is it. There is no cash prize. There is no gold ring. But amazingly, people covet what comes with that trophy: to be known as the best among fans and judges.
Now there is nothing wrong with wanting to achieve success. We encourage people to be the best they can be. In fact, God set eternity in our hearts, and we have a desire for glory. If our quest for glory is human-centered though, it will quickly degenerate to a quest for personal power and all the corruption that comes with that. If our quest for glory is God centered, if we are honoring Him as we dance, sing or work at a computer station, our quest is elevated to one of joy and delight. He is the God of great things, and we are called to glorify Him and enjoy Him forever.
So can we remind all of us, that we should not fix our eyes on the temporary glory of this world? Jesus came, and He is the one we should glorify in all things. That includes dancing. It is His party, and He calls us to keep in step with Him.
Matthew the Gospel writer uses the Greek word Μακάριοι (makarios) to describe those who are in the kingdom and happy about it. That describes you and me if we are believers in Jesus Christ. Poor in spirit, mourning, meek and those who are merciful in heart are happy. We know it sounds odd to the world, but to us it makes sense. We are blessed.
No one likes to shrink. Put a shirt, or a pair of pants, in the clothes dryer and the last thing you want is shrinkage. Get your paycheck and note that it is a bit smaller than last month and you really experience how miserable shrinkage can be. How about your political party? Whether it is blue or red or green, no one likes to have fewer votes in this year’s election than they did in the last year’s election. Simply put, we do not like shrinkage. We like growth; healthy growth, in all aspects of our lives. So as springtime makes its way to Atlanta, lets talk about growing.
Now some growth can be worse than shrinkage. Weeds in the yard, inches around the waist, and clutter down in the basement to name a few. That type of growth will be discussed some other time. This month I want to discuss growth that we all really want. As I do, I want to ask you to think about what is behind our desire for growth and how we can grow in the fullest way possible.
So, let me first set the stage for the discussion. Here is my premise. I find that people like to grow in three areas:
They like to grow financially. Who doesn’t want more money? People really do want a new this or that and, in order to get it, their bank account needs to get bigger.
They like to grow intellectually. Everyone wants to know more; even if is about a reality TV show star or the neighbor next door. The Internet and CNN have stoked the flame of desire we have for more news and information about everything from cakes to cats.
Finally, people want to grow in their relationships with others. Everyone wants to have friends, feel loved and be listened to by those they like. Humans have a deep desire to belong, and to believe that others value them. Further, they do not want their relationships to become stagnant. They want their relationships to deepen over time.
Those desires for growth, I believe, come from deeper needs. Needs for security, freedom and purpose.
Money gives us a type of security doesn’t it? Scarlet O’Hara said it well when she was down and desperate, “I’ll never be hungry again!” Money is a motivator to security. Knowledge buys us freedom from deception and gives us a sense of power. The more you know, the less they can fool you. And having meaningful relationships lifts us up to the high plain of purpose in life. Friendship can be a great reward can’t it?
Now here is the problem. Money, knowledge and relationships can only take us so far. Most people will admit that money cannot fully buy security. I know you want the chance to prove that and some days so do I, but I can tell you that I know a lot of rich people who will say money is not the answer. In fact it can create insecurity.
Knowledge does not fully free us because we know deep down that we can never know it all. We will always fall short of perfect knowledge and someone will deceive us along the way. So how about relationships? No matter how staunch our friends and family are, they cannot fully fill the deep need we have for true purpose in life. There is something in us that wants more purpose then another human can give us. We need a relationship that lets us expose who we are and a relationship that receives us just as we are. We need a relationship that lifts us up in spite of ourselves.
In every one of those areas: money, knowledge and relationships, our growth eventually gets stunted and may even begin to shrink. Somehow, it seems that someone always has more then we do, knows more then we do and often has the relationships we long for, but cannot get. At the end of the day, we wind up dissatisfied and feeling empty. We don’t want that, but there does not seem to be a better way.
So, what is the solution? I suggest that you look beyond. Here is what I mean. Take a glance at people who seem to have a deeper sense of security, freedom and purpose. Look to those who have a life that transcends money, knowledge and even friends. Look beyond material wealth to things that can enrich your soul. Try expanding what you know by going beyond the rational to explore the deep mysteries of religion. When you do that, I believe you will be poised for growth.
I am not necessarily lobbying for you to start with Christianity here. I am suggesting that you ask yourself if you are truly growing in a healthy and satisfying way. If not, I would urge you to look for some ground that could have good nutrients in it for you. Then pick up some materials that will challenge your thinking and look to associate with some people who may have a deeper understanding of security, freedom and purpose.
It won’t be easy. Growth never is. You may find that you have to test a lot of different soils before you come to one that helps you truly grow. Perhaps you will start with Religion A and end up at Religion B, or the other way around. In either direction, the questions will be the same. What will give me security? What will give me a sense of true freedom? How will I know if I have real purpose?
This is the time of year for new growth. Can I suggest you do a bit of digging and see what might spring up?
Worship Well.
A humble prayer for the Holy Spirit to do a deep work in my soul.
Philip Doddridge modernized by R Schlichting
“Blessed God! I sincerely acknowledge before you my own weakness and insufficiency to begin anything that is spiritually good. I have failed a thousand times; and yet my foolish heart would again ‘trust itself,’ (Prov. 28:26) and form resolutions in its own strength. So, I ask that this be the first fruits of your gracious influence upon my heart: to bring it to a humble distrust of itself, and to a rest in you!
I rejoice, O Lord, in the kind assurances which you give me of your readiness to bestow liberally and richly so great a benefit to my heart. I do therefore, according to your condescending invitation, come with boldness to your throne, that I may find grace to help in every time of need. (Heb. 4:16)
I mean not, O Lord God, to turn your grace into a license for immorality or perverseness (Jude, ver. 4) or to make my weakness an excuse for negligence and sloth. I confess that you have already given me more strength than I have used! I charge it upon myself, and not on you, that I have even recently received still more grace from you through your Word and the Spirit. I desire for the future to be found diligent in the use of all appointed means of grace. When I neglect the grace you have given me, petitions like these become a profane mockery, and they might even provoke you to take away what I have, rather than prevail upon you to give me more. But firmly resolving to exert myself to the utmost to use the grace you have given, I earnestly ask for more grace, that I may be enabled to fulfill that resolution.
Be surety, O Lord, to me your servant for good. (Psa. 119:122) Be pleased to shed your sanctifying influences on my soul, to form me for every duty you require. Implant, I ask you, grace and virtue deep in my heart. Bear with me in the midst of me foolishly assaulting your grace. I know I will continue from time to time to do that while I am still in this world and carry about with me so much sin.
Fill me with good affections towards you, my God, and towards my fellow-creatures. Remind me always of your presence, and may I remember that every secret sentiment of my soul is open to you. May I therefore guard against the first risings of sin, and the first approaches to it. May I guard that Satan may not find room for his evil suggestions. I earnestly beg that you Lord, would fill my heart with your Holy Spirit. Dwell in me, and walk with me, (2 Cor 6:16) and let my body be the temple of the Holy Ghost.
May I be so joined to Jesus my Lord, as to be one with him, (1 Cor. 6:17) and feel His invigorating influences continually bearing me on, superior to every temptation and to every corruption. So that while young people shall faint and grow weary, I may so wait upon the Lord as to renew my strength, (Isai. 40:30,31) and may go on from one degree of faith, and love, and zeal, and holiness, to another, till I appear perfect before you in heaven; (Psa. 84:7) to drink in immortal vigor and joy from you, as the everlasting fountain of both, through Jesus Christ my Lord, in whom I have righteousness and strength, (Isai. 45:24). To him I desire to ascribe praise as the source of all my improvements forever. Amen.”
Did you watch the Winter Olympics? Truly the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat. Our hearts grieve for the young man who lost his life in the luge. It was good news that the organizers made modifications to increase safety. In the days after the accident, commentators talked about winter sports, extreme sports and the people who engage in them. One of the commentators said this, “They are not like us.” That made me think.
Anyone who will slide down a mountain at 90 miles per hour on the equivalent of two sticks, one stick, a small board or a soapbox derby car is not like us. What makes them do it? Is it the adrenaline rush, the need for speed, the glory of victory, the approval of men, the gold medal or the fame? My guess is it is none of the above. They have a deep desire to do their best, their very best. They want to give it all away and not leave anything on the table. They are extreme because they are passionate.
Now lets compare them to the ordinary Christian. Take me for example. Can I say that I want to give it all away, to die to self and to do my very best? Would those who do not believe in the Lord Jesus Christ say about me, “He is not like us!” Hmm. That causes me to think even more. What is it about me that holds back, that resists taking risks, that keeps me on the “bunny” slope? Lack of faith. That is the difference. In the natural realm, Olympians believe that good things will happen and they believe they can do what they set out to accomplish. It should be so much more true in the spiritual realm for those who believe in Christ. All things do work together for good to those who love God and are called according to His purpose. That would be me and you.
So where do we go from here? To the slope. Ask your self what is one thing in your life you have been fearful to do, that would be for His glory, and then ask Him for faith to move forward. The truth is we are not like them. We are becoming like Him as we keep in step with the Spirit and move forward in faith.
Worship Well
She knew he wouldn’t be happy about it, but she had to make the call. “Daddy? I’ve been in a car wreck. It…it was my fault.” Those are words a father does not want to hear. After determining physical safety, he asked where she was. They hopped in the car, mom and dad, and headed down to do what only a parent can do.
It was just a fender bender, and both cars were drivable. After giving insurance information, he slid into the driver’s seat of her car, with her in the passenger’s seat, for the long ride home. Her first words, “I know it is kind of lame to say, but I am sorry.” That’s always a good start.
Of course , there was a lecture. Parents are parents. Some instruction never hurt anyone, did it? Maybe it did, but it made his sin nature feel better. That is the truth. She listened and took it all in. As he spoke, a strange thing happened. It was as if he was talking to himself. Not that she was not listening. It was that he was listening to himself. “You need to be more careful; always be transparent. Listen to counsel; be a bit more circumspect.” Silence followed. “God protected you tonight; it could have been worse. Grace abounds; it was just a fender bender.” More silence. “You know we are for you. We always have been and always will be. There are some financial consequences here. We will have to work that out.”
“I know.” She said.
Then this, “Thanks for coming.”
“What?” He asked.
“Thanks for coming to get me.” She said.
Silence filled the car.
“You know, no matter what, you can always call, and we will always come. Never be afraid to pick up the phone no matter where you are or what you’ve done.”
A reassuring silence filled the car. She knew she could call, whenever. She knew she was loved forever. Sometimes , she might struggle to believe it or live like it, but she knew she was loved. The father knew he was loved too, and that he was able to love. No greater love has a man than what has been given to him by the Lord. He remembered times that he had made the call. The Father had always answered, and He had always come. What love, peace, security, and joy He gives us.
If you are afraid to make the call, we urge you today to know that He is for you. You can pick up the phone called prayer. Perhaps, as He answers and comforts you in your wrecked life and as you are reassured you are loved forever, He will bring a reassuring silence to your soul.
Worship Well .
I can't seem to shake it off. Over the last month or so the Lord has really been working me over about sin. Not my specific sin (although He is having a go at that) but sin in general. Here is what I mean. In the past I have tended to view sin as “having some crumbs” on my pants after dinner. Most of the time I could ignore them. If I was in a energetic mood and they bothered me, it was easy for me to “flick” them off. Flick. It means “a light quick blow, jerk, or touch: a flick of the wrist.”
In other words, I could confess them, say I was sorry, and they would be whisked away. It was as if I flicked the crumbs on the floor and the dog came by to lick them up. Easy stuff. The only problem with that is simply this: sins are not crumbs. They are stains. You can’t flick stains off of your pants. Stains are a problem. A stain has to be washed out very carefully with the right soap, or guess what? It permanently stains the garment. I am sure that has happened to you before. A stain made permanent will cause you to throw away an otherwise good pair of pants.
So, if the word picture is catching your imagination, you might wonder what you can do about it. The Psalmist is helpful here. He says, “Cleanse me with hyssop and I will be clean, wash me and I’ll be whiter than snow.” You need to be washed. More specifically the garment of your soul needs to be cleansed by the blood of Jesus. He is the only one who can remove sin stain. All you need to do is stop trying to flick it off and give it to Him. You are not able. He is more than capable.
As you ask to be cleansed, you might want to thank Him for His power and you might want to ask if He would make your garment a bit more stain resistant. He can do that too. You are worth more than a good pair of jeans and He won’t throw you away.
Worship Well
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